getting away

The Bear and I were never particularly good about date nights. Not that we never went out or spent time together, but a lot of that time was spent just doing stuff. I look back fondly on some great conversations at Home Depot. And we'd go for dinner often enough, but it was usually more a matter of not wanting to cook (or shop first and then cook) than a conscious effort to enhance our relationship. Birthdays and anniversary always warranted a nice dinner, and everything else was just whatever happened.

Needless to say, our track record since we've been parents has not improved. Tweetie has thankfully always been pretty good company, and, unlike some of our parental peers, she's come out with us to a number of places on different occasions. But that doesn't allow the one-on-one time without distractions or interruptions of a real date night. Tweetie's a little over a year now, and I can count on two thumbs the number of times we've been out by ourselves. I think I blogged about both, but for a recap, there was the time in February we were on the mainland and came back late to my mom's place, put Tweetie to bed, and realizing we'd forgotten to stop for food, spontaneously decided to leave T in bed (with my mom also sleeping in the next room) and go out for a late sit-down bite by ourselves. Then there was our anniversary, where another mom from my block took Tweetie for a couple of hours while we went out for dinner.
We had planned an outing a few weeks back on the Bear's birthday, but plans changed when his family came over to visit and we all went out together for a nice japanese teppan dinner. We tried to reschedule our private night out, but I dropped the ball on booking the sitter and it turned out to be one of those few nights when Tweetie didn't make ideal company - partly due to the most unhelpful nature of the restaurant we chose - with the result that it was anything but a relaxing night out.
But tonight we execute on a plan hatched months ago. It started when they announced the Police were doing a show in Vancouver. The Bear really wanted to go, but he was out of town, so he asked me to try and grab some tickets when they went on sale. We were sadly denied, with the tickets being sold out in very short order. But then Blue Man Group came up on the radar, and they were playing here in town, and while they're definitely not the Police, they do promise to put on a very entertaining show , of a nature that appeals to a tinkering guy like the Bear.
So, tonight's the night. Our sitter will arrive at 6:30, we'll brief her on what's where and the routine, and we'll be off to go do something, just the two of us, for a whole evening. The Bear's so excited about seeing the show that I've actually got him doing housework for me! But don't tell him I told y'all. I'm looking forward to the show, but it probably would matter much less to me what we were doing. To be doing anything just for entertainment without having to multitask the child minding off to one side will be a welcome change for a few hours.

Reunion...

I've some catching up to do. I've posted nothing since I went back to work, apart from the pictures post for Shirtless, which took nearly two weeks to get done. As such, this post is going to incorporate a lot of rabbit trails. If I tried to break it up into neat and tidy individual posts, you'd never get most of it.
My first week back was carefully crafted to be a somewhat easy start. It was a short week, and I didn't yet have a project assignment, so I worked from home catching up on admin type stuff like a year's worth of e-mail and password changes. Of course, putting in a full day's work with a little one at your feet tends to take a day and a half, but it was still a good thing, as we didn't have anyone to watch her, yet. By the third day, a colleague I'd worked with on a previous project had tracked me down for something new. So that afternoon I went in to the office for a couple of hours while the Bear watched over Tweetie.
That first trip in without her felt very strange, even alien, and I was very glad it was just a few hours before I could go home again. But it was also good to finally do it. To put on the professional attire, get all the bits together, hop on the bus and go to work.
I had the Thursday and Friday booked off, as we had company coming through, and then we were headed for K-town for a surprise birthday party. As things often are, it was not the weekend we had planned. We got word halfway there that the Bear's mom was on evacuation alert for forest fires in her area. With minimal information, and a lot of stirred up emotions from our own encounters with the firestorm a few years back, we opted to drive straight through (after a brief but greatly appreciated stop for food at the Martens' desert oasis) so the Bear could help out with evacuation preparations and some work around the property to reduce the risks. So we got in in the wee hours Saturday morning. The Bear was already planning to come that way after the weekend, and we figured with T along, I was more likely a liability sticking around, so after some sleep I turned around and headed back to K-town with Tweetie.
Or so, we thought. We were all loaded, and I put the key in. The Bear was just beside the car waiting to wave good-bye, but a sound like a hard drive about to implode greeted us from beneath the hood. After some poking around, he identified a fan, but couldn't get in to do anything about it. Calling ahead, he spoke to our dealer in Kelowna, and made arrangements to have someone look at it as soon as I got in. I drove direct to Turner Volkswagen, with one eye on the temperature gauge the whole way, and got there half an hour before closing. To make a long story short, these guys are AWESOME. Not only did they fit me in and identify the problem, but knowing I was here from out of town, couldn't make the drive home without the fix, and that parts would likely take a few days, they had not one, but two of their fine mechanics stay late. Like a transplant operation, one guy extracted a healthy new part from a car on the lot, and the other removed the damaged organ from our car, then they hooked the new one in, tester her, and I was ready to go. On a long weekend. And all under warranty - no fuss, no hassle. Three cheers to Sean Miller for making it happen.
So, we missed B's surprise for her 60th, which was a bummer, but the car didn't melt down on the Coq, on my way home with a teen and a baby, which is very nice. Tweetie and I stopped by on Sunday to pass on our wishes to B, whose house was still full of visitors from near and far. And we still fulfilled the other mission for the weekend, which was to pick up the Goddess' daughter, Thing One, who would be keeping an eye on Tweetie for us in August. The holiday Monday was spent showing Thing One the ropes before heading back for week two.
My second week at work felt way too long. I had put in the paperwork to switch to an eighty percent work week on my return, but it hadn't been approved yet, so I was still putting in full days. I was thankful, though, for getting into a good, interesting project that kept my mind busy. One of the oddest things that week was getting into the car and driving back and forth to work alone. I kept wanting to check the back seat for Tweetie. I've so rarely gone anywhere in the last year without her that it felt like I was forgetting her somewhere when I didn't buckle her in before pulling away.
Overall, I think I did better than I thought I might, as did Tweetie. She's hardly fussed at all when I've headed out in the morning. Somewhere in me there's a little disappointment ("She doesn't even miss me"), but truly, I have no desire to visit the alternative. As it turns out, she may be missing me more than I thought, as the Bear's suggested it might be part of the trouble we've had lately at bedtime.
On the weekend, we went to the library, saw my neighbour's show at the Deluge gallery, plus a couple of other galleries, and did some of the usual weekend catchup.
This week was the first of what ought to be 'normal' weeks. My part-time status was approved (Hallelujah!), so I worked five shorter days between two locations. Thing One was happy to have her days shortened up a bit, too. And, Thursday afternoon, the Bear made it home again from his mom's, and as I pulled in from work, the big red truck was still idling in the driveway as he pulled open the gate. Tweetie'd been missing the man in the phone, so to get a good bear growl in person made her very smiley. I got food on the go, leaving the two of them to catch up a bit, and very much enjoyed listening in as the Bear found his Dr. Seuss voice.
In fact, one of the best things about my whole, crazy summer has been watching the Bear breaking in his Papa shoes. As Tweetie has developed more into a little person, one that crawls and stands and babbles and giggles and explores and listens, he's been finding his feet in the world of parenthood. It took a long time for him to start to feel comfortable with her, and with being responsible for her, but God's gracious and took him there gently when he was most needed. As I've stepped back into the world of work, he's stepped up to the plate, taking on her care as needed and finding other ways to make all our lives smoother. And it's been wonderful, even in the couple of days since he's been home again, to have him backing me up when things get crazy in the evening.
I couldn't ask for more, except maybe a few other pictures like this one from Friday night, courtesy of Thing One:

Random, sort of

Well, Shirtless asked awhile back for 8 random pictures I've taken. Now, my random picture selector seems to have a slight bias lately towards a particular subject, but here's what we've got:

1. Tweetie discovers the open bag of O's while Momma was packing up at the Taylors'.

2. The block on which Tweetie cut tooth number 7 (most of that was done in just over an hour!) Tooth number seven arrived the weekend we came home and she's now working hard on a molar (ouch!).

3. Some pretty sights along the Taylors' driveway.

4. Our future engineer (one of a number of vocations she's trying on for size)

5. Bleach keeping the Bear's bed warm.

6. The cabinet-maker assists me with assembling the bookshelf.

7. More pretty driveway things.

8. Proof that our basement is at least half an inch too short. (We'd love to add about 2 feet, really)

9. Yes, that's more than eight, but there's always room for Dr. Seuss!

UNCLE!

Well, the Bear's on the road again. But this past Friday and Saturday, my mom (Mor Mor to her grandkids) was over for a quick visit, and she brought my four-year-old nephew with her.
Now, the Bear and I have been auntie and uncle for almost as long as we've been together, and Uncle is a title the Bear wears very well. Okay, well there's been this slight tendency to load his sister's kids up on sugar and high excitement and hand them back, but that's not the point of this post. Since most of the nieces and nephews are a little older and more interactive, he very much enjoys exposing them to new things and investing a little of his wild life into them.
Case in point, a few years back, my niece came out to stay with my mom for a few weeks in the summer. While she was here, we hooked up with them at a friend's ranch in Cache Creek. Between the dogs, ATV rides and driving lessons and stories, he was a hit. That Christmas we got a card from her. She remembered her uncle's name, but I was 'mom's sister'. I still laugh at that!
So, back to this weekend. Our nephew is also very fond of big, manly men like the Bear, especially when he has a big loud red truck and other such cool things. The soundtrack for the two days was peppered with "Uncle ..." When I had talked to the Bear about our nephew coming along with Mor Mor on the visit, the wheels had immediately begun turning, and rolling down the runway. The Bear was scheduling a checkout flight with a local flight center and secured permission for a certain small passenger to come along. An hour is a really long time to hold the attention of a four-year-old, but they came awfully close with flying. And with his own headset part of the package in a small aircraft, the Bear gave him a chance to help out with the radios. Apparently, the exchange went something like this:
Cessna - "Gawf - Mikuhl - Alfuh - Zooloo downwin right. Reekehsting runway free fohr fuh touch an go."
Tower (female controller)- "Awwwwww! That's so cute. Honey, you can have anything you want!"

I suspect that memory will be a keeper for all involved.

Tagged

Tex over at the Maru was tagged this week and proceeded to tag me, among others. Here's the rules I'm loosely obliged to follow (we seem to have started a little rebellion over rules).

1: People who are tagged, write a blog post about their own 8 random things, and post these rules.
2: At the end of your post you need to tag 8 people and include their names.
3: You may need to leave them a comment and tell them they’re tagged, and to read your blog

So here are eight random things you may or may not know, or care to know, about me.

1. When I was a kid my hair was so blonde and fine a friend told me I looked bald when we were in the pool.
2. I played trombone in the band. Never was one for the road most travelled. I still have my 'bone on a shelf, and I'd consider playing it again if I had some context. I taught three other girls to play, too. Before that I played banjo. Well, I took banjo lessons, anyway. Gave the banjo away awhile back. I also sang tenor in vocal jazz and chamber choir. I miss singing the most, especially with a group willing to work hard on getting it just right.
3. I studied computer science at UVic as a stepping stone to architecture school, but I never stepped. Sometimes things change. When I go back to work following mat leave in (AACKK!) seven weeks, I'll be putting on my techno geek hat again. Right over my current favourite and always present headgear: Mamma.
4. I once fell for a guy whose lives to be the hero. Many kinds of hero. Random acts of kindness hero. Balance the scales of justice hero. Hero with the cool toys and crazy tales. I think his personal favourite is the nobody-else-coulda-ever-pulled-that-off hero. Keeping a hero ready to go and well-stocked with clean capes is hard work, but more than ten years later, he's still mine.
   
   half-way there, gotta think up some more stuff.
   
   
5. I can do the wave with my eyebrows.
6. If I had the opportunity to go back to school at this point, I think I'd do a Masters of Christian Studies at Regent College. A number of reasons, but one big one is that they offer a concentration in Christianity and the Arts. And they don't limit their definition of arts to music and drama. So hard to find much real discussion around visual arts, and to actually take time to do research on it and do work in that kind of context? Mmmm, very tempting.
7. We have a daughter, nine months old today. The Bear's sister has two girls, his little brother two boys (so far). My sister has two kids, one of each. So in theory, if we had another and it was a little boy, both our extended families would be all balanced out. I've always kinda liked the number three, but I've also kinda grown attached to being married ;)
8. I've been to Europe once with each of my parents as a kid and once with the Bear in 2000. We've been talking about a trip to Africa where we could visit some of our missionary friends from MAF.

So that covers eight random things. Now there's the tagging of others. I still can't come up with anywhere near eight that haven't already been tagged; Perhaps we're a bit incestuous here in our blog circle. Or maybe it's 'cause there's a lot of folks that read us and don't post comments to let us know who and where they are. Anywhere, I'll go half way. To Shirtless, Viscountess, the R. Pletts, and Poisho (cause you're waay overdue for an update anyway), "Tag, you're it!" Some of you have your hands rather full with various things right now, but that's OK, I did away with the time limit.

We have arrived...

...at the starting gate. Today marks Yesterday marked ten years of blissful marriage for the Bear and I. Okay, ten years of ups and downs, trials and triumphs. But ten very worthwhile years.
I don't remember the exact context, but somewhere in the last year I heard someone describe any marriage less than ten years as a 'starter marriage'. (Sadly, among a lot of folks I've worked with, that term is applied to their first, short-lived marriage. I'm thankful to not be in that situation). His point was that much of the first ten years is spent figuring things out. Looking back at all the lessons learned, about what's really important to us, how to understand each other, and what we really meant by all those things we said when we were dating, I'd have to agree there's a lot of truth to it.
We made it this far, and that's worth celebrating. We went out for a nice dinner, just the two of us. A big thanks goes out to our friends up the block for taking Tweetie for the evening, handling two eight-month-olds together. They look pretty cute together actually, and their son, being just over a week younger, often tries to copy Tweetie's tricks in the days following a playdate.
I often think I would've liked to have started our family sooner, but when I look at some of the ground we've covered in our marriage, and the refining work God's done in both of us in that time, I know that our little girl is already ahead, even if her parents are finding it harder to keep up these days. I hope to spend the next few decades building on this foundation, and I hope when Tweetie's grown and possibly ready to get married herself, we'll have provided something she can aspire to in her own marriage.
Here's to the journey!