One of the big jokes in my mind as I look back on the early days with baby one was how often a list of 'shoulds' and 'ought tos' for the new mother was wrapped up with a 'and get lots of rest,' or 'take care of yourself.' Or how that well-intentioned advice came on its own, with no suggestions or offer of help to make that elusive goal more attainable.
Well, this time around has been different, marvellously. Of course, it helps when you're not a total greenhorn and you don't panic and lose sleep over every little thing. But even more so, it helps to have some good friends around you. And I have several, and it's been so much easier to take it easy, thanks to them.
The first of these here in town is right down the street. Shannon, who looks after Tweetie during the week, is only seven houses away. Whatever time I manage to get things together and wander down the block (and with T, I do mean wander), she's there. And she practically dares me to show up in my pyjamas or housecoat if that would make life easier. Sometimes just knowing that I could is nice. (And yes, in the ten months she's been watching T, there've been a few times I've arrived wearing my pyjama pants or the t-shirt I slept in.) Since I've been on leave, I've probably averaged at least an hour hanging out there in the mornings. Since Eli was born, it's often been a case of keeping him occupied in the sling until I can get T ready and out the door, so he gets fed at daycare. We're cutting back to twice a week at daycare soon, so I'll miss that, but I have an open invitation to visit.
The second also comes through the daycare connection. Amanda, one of the other moms there, has been another blessing. For a good part of the year, she's kept T in high fashion, as she worked at a local community center and would scope out the surplus donations for Tweetie-wear on a regular basis. She also gave me enough baby boy clothes to keep Eli pretty much covered for the first year! She's also working on becoming a registered doula, and as Eli's arrival loomed larger (look back at those last pregnant pictures to see just how large) she offered to attend the birth, and over the last few weeks before and after checked in on me and kept tabs on how things were going. Vince was glad again to have some backup at the delivery and someone to keep him calm, though he once more did an awesome job as my coach. And as an extra special post partum treat, Amanda stepped up, when Vince had to head out of town again, to tackle the tile in the bathroom so I could get back to having baths (almost there ... but that's another post).
And last, but never least, on the first Saturday that Vince was away, our good friends Jack and Jem, who had reason to be down at the coast, hopped the ferry to come over and bless me (read: spoil me rotten). And I, being a second-time mom and therefore able to fully appreciate such things, let them. They came over in their truck and stopped en route for lunch materials. Made lunch when they got here, cleared my kitchen table (a significant feat in itself) for us to eat at. Brought me drinks on the couch as I fed Eli. Put away the clean dishes in the dishwasher, and loaded everything up from lunch. Washed the frying pans in the sink. Wrapped up the leftovers. Brought gifts for T and Eli. And picked up take out and shared dinner with me before heading back to the mainland. A wonderful first day 'alone' with both kids. And made Sunday, which was a little hairy with T, much more bearable. Now I just need them to send me a copy of that pic they took with T beside Eli in his bucket seat.